How to Help a Friend Who’s Struggling

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Seeing someone you care about go through a difficult time can be heartbreaking. Whether they’re dealing with stress, anxiety, grief, family problems or something else entirely, it can be hard to know what to say or do. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, making things worse, or not being able to help enough.

The truth is you don’t need to have all the answers to make a difference. Often, simply being there for someone can mean a lot more than you realise. If you’re worried about a friend, here are some ways you can support them.

Start by Listening

One of the most powerful things you can do for a struggling friend is listen. When someone opens up, they usually aren’t looking for someone to solve all of their problems. Instead, they often want to feel heard, understood and supported. Research by the Mental Health Foundation (2024) highlights that supportive relationships are built through empathy, understanding and connection rather than attempting to immediately solve problems. Simply being present and showing that you care can be incredibly valuable.

Try to listen without interrupting, judging or immediately offering advice. Sometimes phrases such as ‘That sounds really difficult’ or ‘I’m glad you told me’ can be more helpful than trying to find the perfect solution. YoungMinds (2024) emphasises that listening and creating a safe space for someone to talk can make a significant difference when they are struggling.

Check In Regularly

When people are struggling, they can sometimes withdraw from others. A simple message asking how they’re doing can remind them that someone cares. You don’t need to have long conversations every day, try giving them their own space- especially if that’s what they’re asking for. But small acts of kindness, such as sending a text, sharing something that made you think of them, or asking if they want to go for a walk or coffee, can help them feel less alone. Research by the NHS (2025) suggests that social support plays an important role in protecting mental wellbeing and reducing feelings of isolation.

Don’t Minimise Their Feelings

It can be tempting to try and make someone feel better by saying things like ‘It could be worse’ or ‘Just stay positive.’ Although these comments are usually well-intentioned, they can sometimes make people feel misunderstood or dismissed.

Instead, try to acknowledge their feelings. Everyone experiences challenges differently, and what may seem small to one person may feel overwhelming to another. Research by YoungMinds (2024) says that validating someone’s emotions can help them feel accepted and understood.

Encourage Them to Seek Support

As a friend, you can offer support, but you cannot be responsible for someone’s mental health on your own. If your friend is struggling significantly, encourage them to speak to someone they trust, their GP, a counsellor, a teacher or another professional source of support.

Mind (2025) highlights that helping someone seek support can be an important part of being there for them. Sometimes offering practical help, such as helping them find information or accompanying them to an appointment, can make taking that first step feel less overwhelming.

Remember to Look After Yourself Too

Supporting someone else can be emotionally difficult. You might feel worried, responsible or exhausted. While being there for a friend is important, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

YoungMinds (2024) advises that setting boundaries and taking care of your own wellbeing is not selfish. Continue doing things you enjoy and seek support yourself if you need it. Looking after your own mental health allows you to be a better source of support for others.

Conclusion

Helping a friend who’s struggling isn’t about having all the answers or fixing their problems. It’s about showing kindness, listening without judgement and reminding them that they don’t have to face things alone. Sometimes the smallest gestures- a message, a conversation or simply being present- can make a bigger difference than you realise.

If you’re worried about someone, don’t be afraid to reach out. Your support could be the reason they feel able to take the next step towards getting help.