It’s normal to feel nervous about your child starting school, it’s a big change in their live they need to adjust to. Fortunately, this experience is usually eased by creating friendships with other children in their classes and on the playground. However, if your child struggles in social situations, this experience could be far more challenging for them. This blog is going to look into why it might be happening and provide support to help you and your child during this time.
Making friends is a crucial skill for children to learn, it is something that they will be using and refining all their lives. This skill is typically learnt at a young age in school, while some children develop it naturally others may struggle and require more time. A psychologist, Mary Rooney, noticed that impulsive and hyperactive children often act in ways that frustrate their strong desire for friendship. They frequently struggle to take turns and control their rage when they do not get their way. Children who are inattentive may act erratic or linger around the edges of playgroups because they are uncertain how to present themselves. This type of behaviour is likely to discourage other children wanting to play with them, causing them to be left out. Around one in five children are born with a tendency towards shyness. A shy child is usually uncomfortable with new people and a new environment. This can make it difficult for them to form and keep connections with other children.
Building Social Skills
To teach your child to use appropriate behaviour with other children, parents should model it to them during family playtime, such as practising taking turns and sharing. Children love to mimic the behaviour of adults, particularly their parents, so this approach could be really effective. A parent could also assist their child by using a social script or simple everyday conversations that they can practice with each other. The child will get confidence from this and help them to behave appropriately in social situations.
Supporting Shy Children
Mary Rooney suggest parents should provide their shy children with opportunity to socialise with other kids, but in a way that eases the transition and keeps them from feeling out of place. This could include starting with a playdate in a setting where the child is most comfortable at, such as their home. If they also plan playdates around your child’s favourite activities, it may help them overcome the initial struggle to participate. Shy children can be easily overwhelmed, so it is crucial to encourage the child gently and supportively rather than pressuring them. It is also important to not blame the shyness on a child’s actions as they may begin to believe it is a trait and not a temporary feeling, which will only make it harder for them to overcome it.
Learn more about our charity campaign, ‘Someone To Talk To.’ We offer free one-on-one therapy sessions to support children who have struggle to make friends.
